Shared grief; shared hope

Yesterday in Israel was Memorial Day. It is a solemn period of reflection, commemorating all Israelis who have died since 1948 whether in war or in the ongoing attrition that is ‘normal’ life here. Israelis are remembered, but Palestinians are not. Since 1948 the number of Palestinian dead has outstripped the number of Israeli dead many times, but Memorial Day and the following day, Independence Day, are one-sided affairs.

For 19 years, however, there has been a joint Memorial Day event recognizing the bereaved who are both Palestinian and Israeli. It is held by Combatants for Peace and Parents Circle Family Forum. Robi Damelin of PCFF wrote an opinion piece in English explaining her own commitment to holding the grief of all together. She sent me a copy of it yesterday.

This year’s joint Memorial Day event, the first since October 7^th, was more sensitive than ever. So much grief; so much so raw.  The event itself was not public and people were invited to join a live stream. Even this was attacked by hackers who took over the Youtube channel and streamed Israeli only memorial content. This distraction was quickly overcome and we watched on Facebook. The whole event is available on the Combatants for Peace Youtube channel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnueJD9l_n4

In her article, Robi talks about a softness and compassion that enveloped the organisers as they planned the event. ‘because we are all so very sad.’ But she goes on:

‘We are also certain that now more than ever our message of non-violence, reconciliation and call to end the war must be heard.’

Through music, poetry and testimony, focusing on the children affected by the terrible events of October 7^th and since in Gaza and the West Bank, space was made to share sadness and grief but also to share a commitment to peacemaking with justice. Jonathan Zeigen, whose mother was well-known and beloved peace activist Vivian Silver, talked of his reluctance to take up her torch, but also the impossibility of not doing so. ‘Now, against my will, the torch has been passed on to me,’ he said. And he asked us, ‘How many generations of bereavement must there be until we understand that the only way for all the people between the Jordan River and the sea to live in security and freedom is through peace?’

Ghadir Hana movingly read the words of a Palestinian woman, Najla, who mourns the death of her beloved brother Abd al Rahman in Gaza, and twenty other relatives. She set the context for the ongoing indignities and privations experienced by Gazans and their families elsewhere before October 7th. They had applied repeatedly for permits to travel for weddings and were always denied. On December 30^th Abd al Rahman was shot in the street while out searching for diapers and milk for his two year old twins. His sister said of him, ‘He was a simple person carrying nothing but the hope for a life lived with dignity.’

As Ghadir Hana spoke Najla’s words the camera scanned the crowd, showing faces filled with compassion and comprehension of her grief. She feels that she had to join PCFF, even though some in her family don’t understand, because the shared grief is a way forward.

I have written before of how the events of October 7^th smashed relationships between Palestinians and Israelis and tore apart peacemaking initiatives. In the words and the music and the dreams of the children this joint memorial event revealed pain but also hope and a determination to be part of a different future.

It may be an hour’s memorial is too much for you. I urge you then to watch this 3 minute clip advertising the 2023 event. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJut0NxnwHw

And I suppose I want to finish with a question for myself, first of all, but also for everyone. These voices are still so marginal and counter cultural, and so very nearly drowned out by louder hate-filled voices. ‘How can these voices be amplified? What can we do to help them be heard?